1). Because nonverbal messages can be ambiguous, they are open to misinterpretation. Have you ever been wrong about the meaning of someones nonverbal message? Describe what happened. How can people increase the accuracy with which they interpret nonverbal message?
I have a tendency to be really blunt when somebody is trying to give me nonverbal signs, because misreading them can lead to rather interesting situations.
There were a few times when I misread what a friend was trying to say, because their body language gave off a different meaning. For instance, a few years ago I was an emcee at an event and I was picking out people from the crowd to sign on stage. A woman seemed really excited at this notion, and gave all the nonverbal cues to pick her, but when I did pick her she seemed really upset. I learned after that her smiling at me was her way of being excited at the event itself and not a sign to pick her.
I feel that there are different ways one can improve in reading nonverbal messages by paying attention to what the person is trying to say, thinking before speaking, pay attention to your voice of tone and how they respond to it, and finally practice and practice reading nonverbal signs.
Taking all that into consideration, I still feel that people can and will misread nonverbal messages all the time, simply because we are programmed to be verbal first and every other communication method is secondary.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Nonverbal messages - examples
2). Although nonverbal messages are more universal than verbal messages, nonverbals do not always carry the same meanings in other cultures. Can you give examples of some of the nonverbal displays that take on different meanings in other countries? If you have moved around within this country, have you ever encountered regional differences in nonverbal meaning?
In United States, most people from kids to adults at one point in their day have their hands in their pockets for whatever reason; In Turkey this is considered very rude, as is sitting with your legs crossed.
Many Asian countries frown upon showing facial expressions, where as in United States this is cherished and often encouraged.
For instance, in many countries when one is in a grocery store and if the cashier is to accidently touch your hand while handing you the change it is considered perfectly fine; In Korea, members of the opposite sex avoid touching strangers, and that is considered a norm. In addition, in some Islamic countries it is perfectly fine for two men to hold hands, while in the US this would draw a lot of strange looks from other people if they did it in public.
In United States, most people from kids to adults at one point in their day have their hands in their pockets for whatever reason; In Turkey this is considered very rude, as is sitting with your legs crossed.
Many Asian countries frown upon showing facial expressions, where as in United States this is cherished and often encouraged.
For instance, in many countries when one is in a grocery store and if the cashier is to accidently touch your hand while handing you the change it is considered perfectly fine; In Korea, members of the opposite sex avoid touching strangers, and that is considered a norm. In addition, in some Islamic countries it is perfectly fine for two men to hold hands, while in the US this would draw a lot of strange looks from other people if they did it in public.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Week of March 8-14
3). Pick one concept from the assigned reading, that has not already been discussed this week, that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.
I found the concept of trying to figure out what nonverbal messages mean very interesting. The book covers the first layer of nonverbal messages, but I actually have the book called "Definitive Book of Body Languages" which carefully explains and illustrates what each body stance means and how we can better understand people by knowing what they're saying when they're not saying anything verbally.
I am far from an expert in body languages and I am not sure how correct the data is, but it does seem to explain a lot of things and why people do and act certain ways.
I am able to say things to people and they immediately agree with me, because I've determined from their body language what they need and or want.
For instance, when somebody has their hands clasped behind their back, it usually means that the person is frustrated and or angry; Or when somebody is tugging on their hair or biting their fingernails, it can be a really dirty habit, but it can also mean that the person lacks self-confidence and thus he/she is nervous.
I found the concept of trying to figure out what nonverbal messages mean very interesting. The book covers the first layer of nonverbal messages, but I actually have the book called "Definitive Book of Body Languages" which carefully explains and illustrates what each body stance means and how we can better understand people by knowing what they're saying when they're not saying anything verbally.
I am far from an expert in body languages and I am not sure how correct the data is, but it does seem to explain a lot of things and why people do and act certain ways.
I am able to say things to people and they immediately agree with me, because I've determined from their body language what they need and or want.
For instance, when somebody has their hands clasped behind their back, it usually means that the person is frustrated and or angry; Or when somebody is tugging on their hair or biting their fingernails, it can be a really dirty habit, but it can also mean that the person lacks self-confidence and thus he/she is nervous.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Question 1 - 3/1-3-7
1). Is it possible to perceive others without, in some way, judging or categorizing them? If so, how? If not, how can we make the judgments we do make, more fair?
Based on my life experiences, it is not possible to perceive others without judging or categorizing them somehow. It is in our DNA to always categorize things and or judge them and there is no way around it.
There are different forms of judging and or categorizing especially when it comes to human beings. The key is to judge people based off of their character, their values, integrity and so on, and not make snap judgements based on how much money they have, what kind of car they drive, etc.
First impressions are a form of judgements, and it is virtually impossible to not think of something or say something when you first meet somebody. We are not robots after all, and we are constantly thinking, analyzing and interpreting things in our lives.
Based on my life experiences, it is not possible to perceive others without judging or categorizing them somehow. It is in our DNA to always categorize things and or judge them and there is no way around it.
There are different forms of judging and or categorizing especially when it comes to human beings. The key is to judge people based off of their character, their values, integrity and so on, and not make snap judgements based on how much money they have, what kind of car they drive, etc.
First impressions are a form of judgements, and it is virtually impossible to not think of something or say something when you first meet somebody. We are not robots after all, and we are constantly thinking, analyzing and interpreting things in our lives.
3-1/3-7
2). Do you agree that men and women use language differently? In what areas?
Men's conversation styles differ very much from women. Society has always thought women to always act "lady like" and women do tend to stress intimacy and connection within their language styles; where as men focus on autonomy and individual achievement.
Men also get away with a lot more than women when speaking. For instance, if a man says something outrageous and obnoxious, most people will brush it off and say, "boys will be boys,' but if a women says the same thing people will judge her and give her a hard time because of what she said.
It also comes down to gender expectations, because raising a boy is different than raising a little girl. Boys are encouraged to tease, play freely and compete, where as girls tend to interact in smaller group. This also separates men and women in the long run and how we use language. For example, men will often hear a another man's problem and will either: poke fun at it, down play it, or give a straight forward advice and I can definitively attest to experiencing all three. Women will often connect with the other person by sharing her own troubles.
Men also focus a lot on achievements when sharing stories to one another, where as women tend to share stories where they violated social rules and that made them look bad. Women are very much more detailed than men when describing a story or an object and women do use more qualifiers than men such as (kind of , somewhat, etc). Girls and women do laugh more than men, but men do incorporate more jokes into their language. Men also discourage conversation by responding to somebody with: "I see" or "Right." A woman will encourage conversation by responding with, "Hmm, I see."
Men's conversation styles differ very much from women. Society has always thought women to always act "lady like" and women do tend to stress intimacy and connection within their language styles; where as men focus on autonomy and individual achievement.
Men also get away with a lot more than women when speaking. For instance, if a man says something outrageous and obnoxious, most people will brush it off and say, "boys will be boys,' but if a women says the same thing people will judge her and give her a hard time because of what she said.
It also comes down to gender expectations, because raising a boy is different than raising a little girl. Boys are encouraged to tease, play freely and compete, where as girls tend to interact in smaller group. This also separates men and women in the long run and how we use language. For example, men will often hear a another man's problem and will either: poke fun at it, down play it, or give a straight forward advice and I can definitively attest to experiencing all three. Women will often connect with the other person by sharing her own troubles.
Men also focus a lot on achievements when sharing stories to one another, where as women tend to share stories where they violated social rules and that made them look bad. Women are very much more detailed than men when describing a story or an object and women do use more qualifiers than men such as (kind of , somewhat, etc). Girls and women do laugh more than men, but men do incorporate more jokes into their language. Men also discourage conversation by responding to somebody with: "I see" or "Right." A woman will encourage conversation by responding with, "Hmm, I see."
Friday, March 6, 2009
March 1-7
3). Pick one concept from the assigned readings, other than what has already been discussed this week, that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.
I thought the chapter on "Listening" was an excellent one. While it was a lot of information that I was somewhat familiar with, there was one concept that was more interesting that others. The concept of "Improving Interpretation" meant a lot to me, because knowing how to interpret a message properly will go a long way in one's success in life both professional and personally.
Author Sarah Trenholm writes, "The more you know about a topic, the easier it will be to process information about it. If you can identify a speaker's purpose.....it will be a great deal easier for you to interpret the presentation correctly." (54)
After all, communication is the key to any healthy relationship but I feel that listening is the key factor and it's a concept that both partners need to understand and implement.
I always thought I knew how to "listen" but I didn't have enough of skills to do it effectively. The use of encouraging words such as "I see" or "Right" are very important, because this lets the other person know that we are actually paying attention to what they have to.
I also found it useful to make sure that I use the right type of body language when I am listening. For example, if in a serious situation such as a class, job presentation, etc. I would be in a relaxed posture but with my head nodding and direct eye contact on the person giving the lecture.
I also learned not to disrupt other speakers or do actions such as: interrogate the speaker, question the speaker time after time, being judgmental, and or changing of the subject.
I thought the chapter on "Listening" was an excellent one. While it was a lot of information that I was somewhat familiar with, there was one concept that was more interesting that others. The concept of "Improving Interpretation" meant a lot to me, because knowing how to interpret a message properly will go a long way in one's success in life both professional and personally.
Author Sarah Trenholm writes, "The more you know about a topic, the easier it will be to process information about it. If you can identify a speaker's purpose.....it will be a great deal easier for you to interpret the presentation correctly." (54)
After all, communication is the key to any healthy relationship but I feel that listening is the key factor and it's a concept that both partners need to understand and implement.
I always thought I knew how to "listen" but I didn't have enough of skills to do it effectively. The use of encouraging words such as "I see" or "Right" are very important, because this lets the other person know that we are actually paying attention to what they have to.
I also found it useful to make sure that I use the right type of body language when I am listening. For example, if in a serious situation such as a class, job presentation, etc. I would be in a relaxed posture but with my head nodding and direct eye contact on the person giving the lecture.
I also learned not to disrupt other speakers or do actions such as: interrogate the speaker, question the speaker time after time, being judgmental, and or changing of the subject.
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